I live in Los Angeles. Every time I mention this to someone, I’m met with their perspective on the city. It’s rarely kind. Their opinions are often based on stereotypes, fears, political statements, the endless traffic, the high cost of living, the liberals. The list of grievances seems endless when I mention I live in LA. You name it, people say it to me. My first exposure to the concept of living in “Los Angeles” was at the age of 11, and even back then, the initial impression I received wasn’t a positive one.
I walked into my dad’s office where he was doing some work on his bulky Dell computer. When I walked over to his desk, on his computer screen was a google image of a vibrant beach town. This image immediately captured my attention. People were basking in the sun, roller-skating, biking, and sipping iced lattes as they strolled along the beachy sidewalk in flip-flops. Against this picturesque beach backdrop, a pink sunset glistened over a series of tall, gray city buildings. I gazed at that image, experiencing an emotion I’d never felt before: an immediate longing to live there.
The irony of my desire to go to this place was that I had never been drawn to beach environments. I prefer mountains and the crisp chill of fall. Thunderstorms and rain are my kind of weather. I don’t like excessive heat or summer, and the city life certainly isn’t my cup of tea. Give me open land, a horse, and a big dog, and I’m perfectly content. I would have never chosen to live in a beach town, but whatever beach town this was, I felt different about it. I felt like I was supposed to live there one day, instead of the place where I was growing up in Tennessee.
“Dad, what’s that place?” I inquired, still memorized by the image.
“Los Angeles,” my dad responded.
Following the little voice in my heart, as I did so effortlessly as a kid, I proudly declared, “That’s where I’m going to live one day!”
My dad burst into laughter, almost to the point of tears. “There? No way,” he chuckled. “That is sin city.”
I gasped. “Sin city?” Why would I feel drawn to a place associated with sin?
“Well…” my dad pondered. “Vegas is actually Sin City. But Los Angeles is surely a close second.”
“What’s Vegas, dad?”
“Another place you won’t be living,” he stated firmly.
That was my introduction to Los Angeles. It was America’s “Second Sin City,” and it certainly wasn’t the last negative opinion I encountered about the city.
Over time, my desire to live in Los Angeles grew to an overwhelming extent, overshadowing everything else. From high school through college, it was all I could think about. During a memorable road trip with friends through the hills of East Tennessee, I thought about Los Angeles. At family cookouts, playing pool games with my cousins, I thought about Los Angeles.
Eventually, I did make the move to Los Angeles and have now called it home for eight years. But my dad’s initial response to my aspiration to live here became the foundation for the constant commentary I’ve received over the years about living here.
I am not here to sugarcoat what comes with living in a city with 4 million people. Living in Los Angeles is no easy feat. Rent is sky-high, the sun is too hot for my fair skin, traffic is a nuisance, and gas prices are exorbitant. Despite these challenges, the residents of this city are what make it special. Though I’d still prefer to reside in the mountains on acres of land, with a horse and a big dog, and oh, how I miss the rolling green fields of Tennessee, I have been able to remain in Los Angeles due to the extraordinary individuals I’ve encountered. The people overshadow any negative stereotype about this place. Let me tell you about them. The people I’ve met in Los Angeles.
People in LA Know How to Have Fun Without Alcohol
Upon moving to Los Angeles, the first thing that struck me was the nonjudgmental nature of the people. With every step I took and job I worked, I felt increasingly more comfortable being my authentic self. The city’s atmosphere of embracing one’s true self was reflected in people’s drinking habits. No one needs alcohol to dance, open up, or have fun out here. This became abundantly clear one weekend when I went to a friend’s birthday getaway to the mountains. For two nights and three days, 11 of us danced in the living room to 80s hits. We played the party game “fishbowl,” an interactive party game requiring each of us to look like a fool, from rolling around like a dog, to snorting like a pig. We shared cups of coffee in the morning with messy buns on our head and bags under our eyes, and despite the co-ed setting, no one raced to the bathroom to put on makeup or style their hair. Alcohol wasn’t a prerequisite for dancing, playing games, or initiating conversations with strangers. Being in such settings, where people revel in their genuine selves without relying on alcohol, is one of the many reasons I adore living in Los Angeles. While I can feel worn out by the city’s demands, it’s not because I drank too much wine the night before, it’s because I’m engaged in activities I love with people who share that passion. This is why I’m still in Los Angeles.
People in LA Have A Lot of Empathy
Living in a city among a bunch of artists, you will meet people with an extraordinary level of inner strength and empathy. There are no shortcuts in the journey of an artistic career; it requires unwavering commitment. It also requires a big, sensitive, open heart. Among a sea of empathic artists, you will also find people striving to resolve the issues of our world, instead of merely discussing them. Take my friend Ann for example. Ann had roles in major TV shows. She also graduated with honors from Yale University. She had the potential to be a “star” in the conventional sense, but for the past 15 years, she has been serving the homeless community. She sits and prays with former addicts, prostitutes, and orphans, while working hard to help get them into affordable housing. Being around people who possess this level of courage always reminds me of life’s bigger picture. When I’m with Ann, I remember a well-lived life is not about what you own or the material possessions you have. Nobody thought about their pretty couch on their death bed, they thought about people. The people they loved, could have helped, or taken the time to visit with more. I am around a lot of Ann’s in LA, people living with an intentional purpose. I like being around people like this. This is why I cherish living in Los Angeles.
People in LA Keep Me Mentally Sharp
In LA, I am always learning. In fact, my experience living in LA could be compared to a permeant college student. That’s often how I feel. I am never not learning something about somebody from some place. I have friends who speak 7 languages, have touched foot in every country in the entire world, cook with spices I’ve never heard of. To be around people with so many unique life experiences has expanded my worldview to a degree I sometimes don’t know how to put into words. “How is LA, Sarah?” is a question I no longer no how to answer. Should I tell somebody about the yoga class I took where baby goats hopped on my back? The Korean food I ate that exploded my tastebuds into a sea of wonder? The poetry reading that brought me to tears? The homeless person I met whose foster partner dropped him off on the interstate when he was 14 years old? The 50 year old world-famous ballerina I met at work and become one of my dearest girlfriends for a season, despite our massive age gap? The dance class I attended where I watched a blind man dance with his companion dog for over two hours that left my heart so full, I teared up for weeks? The thing about living in Los Angeles is that the people are youthful, and I’m not talking Botox (in fact I’ve only seen 1 woman with this). What I’m saying is that people out here are mentally healthy. They exercise. They eat well. They have therapists. Because of these things, there is no shame in being depressed or ridden with anxiety. I talk about my fears, worries, and disappointments as naturally with my friends as I do with my landlord. There is no shame in being in pain. This is why I like living in Los Angeles.
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Now I am not here to frost over the challenges that come with living in this city. It is no easy feat to live here, and while the environmental beauty is surely a reason to remain in LA, that’s not why those of us who are here stay. Hardly any of us go to the beach, and I have never been to the mountains and beach in the same day.
What truly anchors us to this place is the nonjudgmental, empathic, passionate, and courageous people. To live in a city of artists, even for a time, is a genuine gift in this world I hope everyone can experience at some point. This is how I have been able to remain in LA.
I moved here for my dream career, and while I am still pursuing this, it is the people are why I am still able to live in such a big, dynamic city. They infuse me with a sense of youthfulness, a constant reminder to live fully and deeply. I laugh as much as I cry out here, and I like that about life. This city will test you daily, but if you can sift through all the challenges that come with living in a city of 4 million people, you’ll find the label of the “Second Sin City” might not accurately depict its true essence at all.
